Ella Bella

We found out today, we had a baby girl.

Ella Grace.

I was driving to Big Al's office this morning, my spirits puny. A puny even a trip through Hobby Lobby didn't cure. I tried. Going for chromosomal results shouldn't be that big of a deal, but I felt like: a) We had taken a test, b) We had failed (I know, I know, but hear me out) and c) Now we had to find out why.

I was crying into my sweet tea cup when I flipped on the radio.

I heard a song I had never heard before. But I sang along like I knew the words anyway. I truly believe God put it there for a specific purpose today.
It's by Mercy Me and it's called (perfectly) "The Hurt and the Healer". Absolutely precious. Talks about where glory meets our suffering and how our hurt and the Healer collide. Profound, for me, on this day.

Ella Grace. Ella meaning simply "she". Grace meaning "by the Grace of God". Ella Grace had Turner Syndrome. It doesn't change a darn thing. But here's where my peace meets my human soul. I was fully, fully expecting to hear that our baby had a disorder or diagnosis that was "incompatible with life". Dr. Sermons told us two weeks ago to expect something that says "yadda yadda...incompatible with life". So that's what I told myself the case was. No arguing with that. The problem, for me, Turner Syndrome is every bit compatible with life.

I'm having a bit of a head to head with myself and I know it's because of my passion and chosen career in life, I know it is. I would never ever in a million and one years want our baby to be born into this life with one single thing wrong with her. No parent chooses this for their child. At the same time, being in the field I am in and pouring myself into it daily, I truly acknowledge that EVERY child is an absolute gift. There is no diagnosis too grave, no disorder bigger than my faith in God Almighty.

I'm at peace, I really am. This is just part of our story that God is writing through us. We don't hold the pen. We just don't. I do know one thing; that if God had entrusted us to raise Ella Grace here on earth, we would have done a mighty fine job of doing it. We would have loved her like crazy, we already do.

Ella Grace was born straight into her Daddy's arms, and that is something so big I simply can't comprehend it.

Ella Grace, thank you for reminding us that God is good. Thank you for the sweet, sweet joy you have brought us. Thank you for showing us that God's grace and healing can move mountains. Thank you for reminding us to praise Him daily for our blessings.

When I get up to heaven I am going to rock you to sleep, tickle you like crazy, push you high on heaven's swing set and teach you all the good things of this world down here. And you will teach me all about the good things of heaven. What a sweet sweet day that will be!

We love you Ella Bella, we surely do.