Room 519

I love Ranch Bugles. That's right. Ranch flavored Bugles.

Love them.

They are ridiculously yummo and they are ridiculously hard to find. Cheddar Cheese doesn't cut it. Original definitely doesn't cut it.

Once when I was pregnant with Cooper,  I even tried the Buffalo flavored ones out of desperation. Bleh.

But the Ranch ones. Ahh.

The last bag I can remember having was circa 1987.

But we were down at Tybee Island this weekend for a wedding and when we got down there I realized I forgot my toothbrush. Chris rode off on his white horse to fetch me a new one. And get back Jack, guess what he found?

I was excited.

I ate them one by one grinning from ear to ear while Chris stared at me like I had two heads. Crunch.

*I might have gone back and bought the gas station slap out of them. 4 bags. Scooped 'em up and didn't look back.*

My step-brother Brian married his little darlin' this weekend down in the sand. It was beautiful. And hot. Shoo-wee.

After the wedding we came back to our room to shower and cool off. We slipped our key in the door but the door wouldn't open. We tried the other key. Nothing.

We traipsed back down to the front desk and they told us we probably deactivated our keys by putting them near our cell phones. Whatev. They also verified our address twice. Whatev. New keys in hand, we came back up to the room and immediately noticed something was up.

There was stuff in the room that didn't belong to us. A wet towel on the bed. Some one else's makeup on the counter. The iron was out. Some Forever 21 tags were thrown around. Someone else's room keys were on the desk.

Mysteries.

Suddenly we realized someone had been in our room. With our stuff. Without us.

We called the front desk and became foul tempered and started ranting and raving about security and privacy and wet towels and used toiletries. They came right up to our room and admitted that. they. gave. our. room. away. while. we. were. out.

Insanity.

There are no words. Thank heavens to Betsy our mystery roomates were only weirdos and not thieves. They showered and did their make up and ironed their clothes. All while OBVIOUSLY in OUR occupied hotel room.

Did I mention there are no words?

We got a full refund (duh) and assured the Hilton folks that we would not be back. Ever. Evvver.

Oh and I am totally calling John Quinones over at "What Would You Do", our fave Friday night show, and turning this in as a future episode idea. I'm probably going to be on TV. Look for me. I will be the girl crunching on Bugles in the background of some hotel room.

Only us, y'all. Only us.