Hissyfit

I have spent the past few weeks throwing the biggest hissyfit fit.

I've been rotten.

Stinky.

Down right ugly.

We got the news over Christmas that Chris needed to start some new injections over at the Cancer Answer. The kudzu is NOT back, hear me, praises praises praises unending for that absolute miracle. I mean it. My gratitude for that is unwavering. Always will be.

And my gratitude that these treatments will restore my sweet hubs spirit and strength is abundant. It truly truly is.

Without saying a whole whole lot, I'm just tired. Isn't that the whiniest thing on the planet for me to say? I have to fight the urge to lay in the floor and wallow and cry out that nothing ever seems to come easy for us.

The beauty of that is that God never said it would be easy. I am forever grateful that He is our "constant" and somehow manages to reign over every little thing that we interpret as a "bump" in the road. And the best part is that He is in the middle of making something mighty and grand out of what we consider "trials" *insert overly dramatic sigh and slightly annoyed eye roll*.

But I still got mad.

Sugar Britches gone cranky tank.

Not at God. Even though I shouted at Him twice when he woke me up INVOLUNTARILY to call out to Him at five o'clock in the morning. I told Him I would give up sweet tea for 31 days to be still and stop crunching ice long enough to hear Him out. The third day He woke me up with silly praise songs streaming through my head, I decided I would take my sweet tea right back.

You can't have my sweet tea and my sleep.

My friend Amy said I should rename Sugar Britches "Sweet Tea and Devil Eyes". Cause those were the eyes I shot at the Target clerk right after I almost kicked over an entire display of family planning products.

Right after I screamed and pounded my fists in the parking lot of Hob Lob.

In the midst of my bitter chaos I can hear God whispering over me that He's not done with us yet and that He's going to make all things new and beautiful.

Isn't that the craziest thing?!

I'm being ugly, God. I'm shouting and acting like a crazed beau font Toddler and Tiaras baby when she learned she didn't win grand supreme.

My spirit of gracefulness is so far from me right now. I've decided until I get it back, it's ok to scream. And shout. And get my panties in a wad. And cry. And holler. And knock over (small) displays if I need to. I have a God who has promised to love me through it.

And that's what faith is to me, seeing the mighty hand of God in the midst of our own human uncertainty and ugliness. Knocks the sweet tea right out of my cup every time I think about it.

With love and smooches,
Scarlet
Founder and CEO of Sweet Tea and Devil Eyes Whimsical Gifts

(PS did I seriously come down with Scarlet Fever in the midst of all of this? Why yes, thank you, I did.)