Rise

I wanted to take a minute to thank you all for the words of encouragement and for the unending prayers you have poured out for us. We sure need 'em and we sure feel 'em. Through everything we've been through over the past few years, our one prayer has been that no matter what happens, that God will be glorified.

In the midst of our devastation and sadness, He is being glorified. I can see it.

I got in trouble the day of my surgery. I was supposed to start meds Thursday night to start contractions and make things easier for Friday morning. I just couldn't take them. Couldn't. Could not.

I should have though. It would have made surgery easier for Big Al. The nurses got on to me and Dr. Sermons just shook his head and shuffled around in his black church shoes. Mostly I was just happy to feel guilty about something other than eating feta cheese and drinking Coca-Cola.

Anesthesia came in to talk to us before I went into the OR. I was a hot mess, squaling and carrying on, detailing our issues with what happened the last time I was at Northside delivering a baby. By the time the OR opened up for me, a different anesthesiologist came in.

He looked at Chris, looked at me and his eyes got big as saucers. He was THE ONE who was there when I seized and talked about seeing Jesus and Mama Potts when Cooper was born. He was the one who bolused me twice and sent the meds straight into my bloodstream rather in my spinal column. He was the one who assured me that I was not dying as I screamed obscenities during my seizures that day. I screamed about a million and one horrific and embarrassing things and two years later, he remembered EVERY single comment. Even the one where I told him I liked his hair and asked him to buy me an Infinity. Sheesh. Anyway, it sort of made me giggle that of the 90 anesthesiologists at Northside, I got him again. Bless him. He probably didn't like the liability that came with knocking me out, but this time it was smooth sailing.

We are heartbroken. Between the kudzu and the chemo and the long long road to getting pregnant, we are having to dig deep to find peace. The joy we've experienced over the past three months will always stay with us. Every single day, we praised him for this tiny miracle. Never once did we take it for granted or forget WHO blessed us with this gift.

But as the Bible and Michelle Duggar say, "The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away. BLESSED BE THE NAME OF THE LORD".

Shawn McDonald reminds me: "Because He who is in me is greater than I will ever be, I will rise". So there ya go. I will rise. I will take my sassy butt to church and continue to praise Him.

Love y'all.