We got up, got dressed, and scooted to church and I was just about beside myself, waiting for worship to start. You know that feeling when your soul just craves worship with others? Our church is busting at the seams (praise the Lord!!), so we got there about 45 minutes early this morning. Nerds.
We dropped Super Coop off at his class (no tears-thanks to the fact that it was "make-a-sword-our-God-is-mighty-Sunday) and I settled into our seats while Chris served. Long story short, I ended up giving up our seats to a family with a itty bitty newborn. It was fine. It really was.
Only we got moved to the overflow room. Also known as the mama/daddy/newborn baby room. And
And there I sat, trying to watch worship on a TV screen, eyes welled up with great big ol tears.
Ridiculous, I know it.
God met me there and reminded me to be humble and gracious. I fought with him and reminded him that I am weak and cranky. I grumbled and shuffled in my seat . Until He broke me. Again. And again.
Remember, we are right where he intends for us to be. Maybe not in this situation, but in the grip of His grace.
I have the best husband in all the world. He took one look at me (once he found me) and understood. We ended up scooping Coop and coming home and bouncing in the bounce house. Cooper was tickled that I had on my "pirate" boots so he could sword fight me. (He won).
I fought with God some more while I made pimento cheese samiches for lunch. I went to move Coop's Sunday School paper off the counter and his weekly verse nearly jumped up and slapped the butterknife right out of my hands.
"The Lord will fight for you, you need only be still". Exodus 14:14
Ok, God. You win. You are mighty and good and your plans far exceed the cranky tank ways of my day today. And oh how I thank you for that.
our insurance paid for nothing in regards to infertility. at the time i was crushed...now i understand why we weren't given that avenue. :)
ReplyDeleteour baby was supposed to arrive september 14, 2010. the whole month before i walked around so so so very sad...now i understand why we never got to hold them. :)
in the middle of it all it's so hard to understand your family has something different...something SO GOOD...in store. or at least it was for me. but, man oh man, did He have something grand in store for us! and all that heartache led us to the path of our moseby. because had we been able to use insurance for infertility doctors and treatments and had we been able to have that baby i miscarried...well, i wouldn't have him. and i wouldn't be the person i've become. and i wouldn't have developed the heart i have and the longing to adopt again.
wow, sorry i posted a book.
just wanted to say i know what you're going through and like that little verse says He is fighting for you...and i for one CAN'T wait to see how wonderful it all turns out!! :)