Tuesday, March 31, 2009

An Idiom a Day Keeps the Doctor Away

Ahem. I would like to introduce yet another crazy attempt at beginning some sort of blasted blogging business. I have a list about yay long outlining why I do not think I need to have a blog. I shall enlighten you now on the items on that particular list:

1) Since embarking upon my mid-twenties, the word "blog" has become somewhat synonymous with the word "baby". While these two words obviously have their differences, the blogs I tend to stalk seem to outline people's precious jaunts through mommy hood. And yes, I feel that "stalk" is an appropriate term here--after all, why else do we publicly document our lives on URL's for all the world to see? While I simply adore my billions of bookmarked baby blogs, I feel that beginning a blog sans baby is somewhat, well, boring. Perhaps my itching ovaries have much to do with this particular hang up. For this reason, I am discounting item #1 as a reason not to begin a blog at this point in my life.

2) Note: I am a speech-language pathologist, however; I am missing several crucial intellectual components required for public blogging. Included are the following 3 grammatical abilities: accurately spelling words of greater than 4-5 letters without some sort of spell check mechanism, producing grammatically correct sentences whilst in the heat of drama worthy enough of blogging about, and selecting appropriate vocabulary terms to effectively communicate my thoughts. My internal dilemma (see there, "dilemma": 2 'm's or 1?): risk publicizing my weaknesses or seize the day and blog away?

3) If you know me, you have probably learned to appreciate my over-analytical slightly neurotic personality. If it can be analyzed, I shall analyze it. This poses quite the problem when you are narrating a stream of consciousness. For example, I have stopped to analyze everything I have written thus far approximately 208 times.

4) I am a people-pleaser. Being a people-pleaser and a blogger can be somewhat challenging. For this reason, I will post a disclaimer now: Assuming that I get up the courage to post subsequent entries, please know that I love you (whoever you are) and although my cattiness (yes, another blasted personality trait) may shine through at times in my blogs, please do not take me seriously or personally. Note: If it can be interpreted sarcastically, it should be.

*Insert reminder of what this list is even about. I imagine you just asked yourself that question as well.*

5) Although I often become quickly passionate about something (i.e. "Ohhh look at all of the fabulous backgrounds I can pick from while accessorizing my new blog!"), I have also been known to abort missions and abandon projects.

6) I often waste copious amounts of time pondering appropriate blog titles to match my hodgepodge stream-of-consciousness blogs. To simplify this process I have decided to title each of my blog postings with an idiom. I think idioms are some of the craftiest creations out there. I mean, to be able to say what you mean without saying what you mean. Genius. Think of it as your very own 1-a-day-tear-off-idiom-desk-calendar.

So there you have it. My list of reasons why NOT to blog.

I feel I only need one reason TO blog: Each of our lives are significant. Big or small; extravagant or simple-- we all have a story to tell. And so my story begins...