I've been in a Blog Fog.
It's been good, so good, but I sure do miss this little thing.
I had my hissyfit. I had my Come-To-Jesus moment (in Vegas, no less).
And I came home and got busy savoring every second of this sweet life. I finally let go of the "life" I had once envisioned and began to focus on the beautiful life God has called us to.
Divine. That's all I can say. I had no idea how to even begin to surrender my own human desires and to lay them down for whatever mighty plan God has for us. I finally begged him to take them away. Just take them. Everything I was holding onto, laid down at His feet. I didn't think it was possible. But with Him, anything is. Anything.
We went to the circus today.
Coop miraculously traded in his love for all things trains this week and developed a love for all things dragons. When we realized that the circus was dragon themed, we knew we had to go.
It was magical.
All 4 hours of it. 'Cept for the clowns, Coop says.
The minute we walked into the arena and saw the precious look on Coop's little face and smelled the elephants and saw the light up swords, I was transported to another place in time. I was sitting next to my big brother (who I'd still give my left arm to talk to even just one more time), crunching on my snow cone in my lion circus mug, watching the clowns climb in and out of the clown car jalopy.
My memory is a joke. I can't even remember what I ate for breakfast before we left this morning. But the very second I took in the sights of the circus, I was flooded with vivid memories. I instantly felt the urge to call my mom and dad and to thank them for giving us those sweet memories. I burst into tears realizing, now as a parent, what it means to provide special experiences to your little ones. Indescribable.
My tears came to a screeching halt the minute I realized that there was a grown man, wearing purple glitter spandex, in the middle of a cage full of lions and tigers. I could barely peep at the center ring, never mind sport glitter spanx and wave a whip around in front of hundreds of people, because, well I nearly wet my knickers all the way over in section 106, row v. Y'all.
Then the trios came out on their motorcycles. On a high wire. And flipped upside down. And then there were the Hair Hanging Wonders. Twisting and swirling WHILE they hung upside down by their pony tails, juggling. I got knocked on my tush with vertigo laying flat on my back in bed fast asleep this year, remember? These people are c.r.a.z.y. And I love them.
Question though. What on earth do they put as their "occupations" when they fill out paperwork at the doctor or when purchasing a home or a new car? "Hair twirler"? "Aeriel Artist"? I am secretly hoping one will come to CHOA so I can see just how that translates onto pen and paper.
All I want to do is wear one of those jazzy unitards and drink sweet tea from the safety of our front porch. Risk taker, I am not.
I sat there, watching Coop's little eyes sparkle and realized that it doesn't matter if you are a family of 3 or a family of 33, aabundant joy surrounds us each and every day. We just have to stop planning what we think it looks like and seek the divine joy He has set in motion for us.