Thursday, August 27, 2009

And He does everything in His time...

So it has been 24 hours since we started doing the happy dance. I have taken a total of 6 pregnancy tests. All positive. Yaaaay!

Hubs and I made a pact (ha, yea right!) not to tell anyone until after the first doctor's appointment to confirm said 6 pregnancy tests. We made this pact half laughing because if you know me, you know that I cannot keep a secret to save my life.

Seriously. I tell all, all the time.

I made it about 4 hours and then decided to text my sweet Lori to ask an innocent "are you awake?" 3 minutes later and 1 suspicious phone call from her, and there I was spilling the beans. SHAME ON ME! We shrieked and flapped our hands in the air and then I took another test, just to be sure :)

I could hardly sleep a wink last night. I laid awake with an enormous smile on my face thanking God for blessing us and entrusting us with a baby. There are no words to express my thankfulness and gratitude to Him for this gift.

I truly thought this was going to be a long hard road for us. After being diagnosed with endometriosis 6 years ago during an emergency appendectomy, fertility questions have been in the forefront of my mind. Thus, my journey of learning how to be still and wait began. Between me finishing graduate school and Hubs settling into his career, we knew that babies would need to wait a few years. Just as we decided it was time to dive into parenthood, Chris unexpectedly lost his job. So we learned to be still and wait a little more.

For the past year, we have struggled with the debate to wait for life to be perfect or to surrender to God and to trust him with our plans. On June 21, 2009 Kevin Queen, our pastor, gave a phenomenal sermon on leaving a legacy. At the end of the service he invited any of the men in the congregation to come down front and pick up an old skeleton key as a symbol of committing to leaving a legacy. During our closing prayer I felt an empty chair where Chris had been sitting next to me. I peeked (shame on me again) and saw him down front picking an old key from the basket. Hmm...

Later that day during our Father's Day celebration at the Davis' I noticed that he had the key hanging around his neck. Strange, I thought. On the way home he told me that he felt God telling him to put his trust in Him and asked me what I thought of starting to try for a baby. I sat in absolute awe. I was beside myself with excitement and joy and amazement for what God was doing in our lives. Talk about being stirred.

In that very moment, on the way home from the in-laws, we knew that God was putting it on our hearts to take the leap of faith and to put our trust in Him.

God has given his people a desire to know the future. He does everything just right and on time, but his people can never completely understand what he is doing.-Ecclesiastes 3:11

So as I sit here tonight, just 4 weeks pregnant with our tiny gift from above I remember that:

"He performs wonders that cannot be fathomed, miracles that cannot be counted". Job 9:10 "But as for me, I will always have hope; I will praise you more and more." Psalms 71:14

After I took the first pregnancy test, I ran downstairs and dropped an old key (similar to the one Chris picked up in church on Father's Day) on his dessert plate. The look on his face was priceless!

That moment is one I will treasure always. It was just as I had imagined it and just as it should be. The glory went to God; His grace to us.

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