Punkees and Prayers

We sat on the porch tonight with our little chicken counting stars and counting blessings.

We are thankful for Dum Dum lollies, for "punkees", for 27 pounds of feathers and fun, for our first home, for Mimi's and Nanas and Poppys and Grandadas, for incredible neighbors, for wagons, for HAIR (can I get a woot! woot!), and for showers of God's amazing grace that rain down on us over and over again each and every day.

I let go of something tonight. Amidst the ghosts, and Lady Gagas, and groovy girls, and zombies, and giant marshmallow men, I took my fear of the unknown and gave it right over back to God. I have been so worried about Chris relapsing. SO worried. So worried that we might never get to experience the joy of adding to our family again. SO worried. Right there under the moon and maple trees, I let it go.

I took a deep breath and realized that Chris is going to have times where he is wiped out and feels terrible. He might even have night sweats and circles under his eyes. It doesn't mean that we are going to be back at the Cancer Answer sweating bullets and dealing with the Red Devil.

I realized that I can crave Chicken Fries from BK without having to imagine it being a symptom of being preggo. (I'm so super serious it's not even funny. It's been my phantom symptom for the past 4 months. I won't lie. I have enjoyed the heck out of every sweet and sour slathered chicken fry.)

I prayed relentlessly sitting there on the porch with my heart overflowing with love and gratitude. I squeezed my babies tight at bedtime and then was reminded (thank you Pinterest, I kid you not):

That's Proverbs 31:25, in case you want to highlight in your Bible right alongside of me.

It is my [Halloween] prayer that we go after this daily, with reckless abandon. God is good. And so are Dum Dums and punkees.